Did something really stupid and bad last night hanging out with her. I just screwed up everything right before we say goodbye. Was jealous on her BFF which pissed her off, she was right, i was childish enough, thinking that I'm mature but actually I'm not at all.
Tried so hard to reach her since morning, felt really sorrow and anxious since last night after I walked away. It's really a bad move to just walk away like that, but what done is done, I only can blame myself on it. Been missing her so much and I wanna see her really badly, but too bad there's always some restriction which makes us can't see each other whenever we want to.
Having a drink with her last night, the conversations were so peaceful. I smiled quite often throughout the conversation, I'm not happy actually, I just need to be strong and smile and convince myself that everything is alright, there's no big deal if we gonna stay friends. After two months, we had come to a conclusion not to differentiate the relationship between us. It might be the best way for us to still loving each other deep inside our heart. I don't know how she feel, but I will love her as long as I can. The pinky promise we made, it's so sweet, but no one knows whether it will work out or not. I just hope things will happen with what we promised each other. Come to me, we can be together after you left him and if I'm still single. I really want it to happen so badly, cause I enjoy every moment she trying to reach me in my arms. You know bii, I really love to hug you in my arms and i like it when you're constantly touching my hands and put my arm on your shoulder whenever i doesn't do it. =)
Hugging you is the best feeling i ever had, felt really warm and sweet hugging you. Being so close with you is the best thing ever. But yeah just have to slap myself for being such stupid and can't even control my simple emotions. Getting angry on things that i shouldn't angry on, thinking on things that doesn't happen, jealous on the person i shouldn't be jealous on. Anyway, just glad with what you told me in our text just now, it really made me smile :)
I can't wait to see you my darling~ wanna hug you so tight and tell you that i won't be so childish anymore. I love you Yokorella, things are getting harder, and i will strive harder, i will remember every advice you gave, i will focus on my work and try to be more mature in my attitude and behaviours. Good night, sorry for every evil thing i did, that's my dark side. You will never see it anymore, I promise.
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