Always the wrong timing

It was a relaxing day, didn't really felt like working today.
Woke up in the morning with chilling mode, had my breakfast at McDonalds as usual. Enjoyed my Sausage Mc Muffin with egg, a cup of hot coffee and head to Putrajaya to submit some documents.
Headed back to office and it' already near to 12pm. Rested for awhile, had my lunch and head to TNB at Bangsar to submit other documents. Honestly, all my perception towards my nation people had slightly changed. By travelling to different places and talking with different peoples, there are actually lots of helpful and kind people regardless of race.

Done with my task with the day by travelling to these places. It was 4:30PM, heavy rain with heavy traffics and I got approval from my superior I can call off my day without heading back to office. Sat in my car for awhile and wondering should I find her since I'm just 5 minutes away from her workplace. My heart asked me to give her a call, well she's okay to meet with me again. I think we are seeing each other for 4 days within a week time. Wandering around in the mall for 2 hours and thought of lots of things, I'm always pressuring myself too much...

Maybe it's a wrong decision to find her today, all my bad habits resurfaced bit by bit. It was painful to see myself doing what I did again as I thought I've already get rid of these bad habits. Can't control my anger, we argued over something we shouldn't talk about. It's the day you make your counselling over me, criticize me like how I used to do to you everyday. I doesn't like the atmosphere, it was so intense, so harsh, I can't breathe. You read my heart like how I read yours, I'm not sure if we really know each other well or it's just we both have the ability to.

Just felt that I'm still not mature in relationship, anger and jealousy took control over me. Am always loving someone at a wrong timing but it always happened to be when I love it real and deep. You said : " Thank you for loving me, now only I felt what love really should be like, this kinda love is big love which very less people can really do it. " Spending all the heart to heart talk moments with you in the car is really memorable, it's quiet, peaceful and intense at the same time, so much mixed feelings surrounding us. There were moments that we wanted to hug each other but we know we can't, it was so tempting but still we managed to press ourselves down.

It's good you have some new friends, and I think sooner or later these new friends will try and help him to get you. Don't get me wrong, am not worried or jealous, just that I feel like it will happen. I can't look into your eyes like how you look at me, I'm defeated, you felt weak, I felt myself even weaker when I'm with you. Everything just happens too fast, I can't react to the situation, I didn't know it could be so real, I didn't know it will be so complicated, but I sincerely hope this relationship will work....

If I always started at the wrong timing, I hope it will end at the right timing... Just for once