Future

Been thinking over and over again for these few days.
What is love? For me it's a feeling and emotion to someone and i care about everything that's happening to her.
Doesn't really text you a lot, actually i have so much to tell, but i guess you're not interested in knowing it anymore. Maybe you're interested, in the other hand i feel it's unnecessary to tell since you doesn't care anymore

Wanted to give you back the ring so that you could give it to someone much more important than me, but you refused and i know you will throw it away if I give it back to you. Actually everything that happened now I've already knew this day will come, I just didn't expect it came so fast. Am I sad? I myself don't even know, sometimes I just go numb whenever i think about you. But i know I'm not happy for sure, I wonder how long does it take for you to make this decision, how much have you went through to be so insisting in stopping everything.

I don't hate you at all, I'm just amazed and admire your courage in cutting off everything. To be honest that's the best solution for you, for you to live normally and without stress. I think that's what I want for you as well, but it's hurtful when every sweet things goes into nothing between us. What else can I do, I can only wish you happier in your future life. Maybe we're really not meant to be together, or can i say that you doesn't love me that much. If one day you found I'm not around and you miss me, if you left him just to come to me, I can be sure that you love me a lot. Can't survive without him seems like an excuse for me, it all depends on you. But I don't blame you, you're used to this life for so long. That's why we ended this early, we both scared that we will get addicted to each other.

Should i thank you for ending everything. Maybe i think i should thank you for ending it early. Cause I will never have to courage to request breakup. Can't imagine how depressed i will get if we breakup later on. Scrolling through our pictures just make me smile, we were so sweet but everything just seems to be a memory. Two and a half month, so many things happened. Anyway, I just hope we can still talk and meet from time to time. I never managed to be friends with my ex, I hope you could still be mine, I just doesn't wanna lose anyone from my life anymore. It's always tired to say goodbye, and it's always a regret to lost contact with someone I loved. Maybe I'll continue loving you and missing you from my heart, maybe I'm waiting for miracle? 

These too shall pass? I'm not really sure, I only know that I will not allow myself fall into love so deep anymore, it hurts, it really hurts. No one knows about the future, all i can do is wishing you the best in your life and your future. At least we had really sweet memories being together. 

I decided not to involve myself into your life anymore, so don't be shocked if I doesn't text you anymore. To be honest I'm still loving you and I still having that little hope that we will get together, just that now is not the right time for us to have feelings for each other. I just doesn't want you to think about me so often like how you used to, it will only make you suffer. But I'll be there for sure when you need me, I promise. I'm not being cold, I just want the best for you. Just find me when you're not happy, enjoy the time when you're happy, I will be happy once you're satisfied and happy with your life.

Neutrally waiting for the miracle day to come, I love you.